Only In Termia
by Daring Dashwood
Summary: MM-verse. A series of drabbles about the strangeness that is Termia. Updated sporadically.
1. Theificide

Only in Termia: Theificide

A/n – First time doing drabbles. If you have any weird moments you want me to include, please tell me!

* * *

Link raised the newly found bow, knocking an arrow. He was just aiming for the theif's leg. Honestly. He had no intention of killing a person. Wound, yes. Murder, no. Link was by no means a murderer. (Ganondorf didn't count. He was evil. Yeah.)

And the various monsters the hero encountered on his journey were just that—monsters. He felt no regret for killing beasts that were born—not even born; they were probably created through magic— into Hyrule simply to slaughter innocents. Murdering murderous animals for a just cause does not make oneself murderous.

With all of this infallible logic fresh in your mind, tag along for this brief stepping stone in Link's quest to save Termia.

The arrow whistled cleanly through the air, hitting its mark just a tad off center. Just as it bit into the flesh, the unthinkable happened.

The thief exploded.

There was a loud _boom_, as if Link had just set off a bomb instead of letting loose an arrow. Burnt organs accompanied by a nauseous amount of blood splattered everywhere. Somewhere off to the hero's side, he could hear a child crying. The soldier looked disgusted, though he made no move towards or away from Link.

"….Well." Was all he could say. Really, what do you say when someone blows up in front of you after all you did was _shoot him in the goddamn leg with an arrow. _

"Um." It seemed Tatl was at a loss for words as well.

"That…just doesn't happen."

"But somehow it did."

"Yeah."

The two travelers continued to stare at the blackened smudge which was once a human being, still too shocked to do anything else.

"You murderer!" Someone shrieked behind them. The Hylian and the fairy turned to see the old woman they'd just rescued.

She was hobbling towards them dangerously fast for a woman her age, and was shaking her fist at the duo. "Murderer! Murderer!" She screeched.

Others had been alerted to her cries, and soon the whole town was after Link. Stumbling into the laundry pool, Link fumbled in his pouch for his ocarina.

"Link, they're getting closer!"

"I know, I know! Just give me a minute."

"We don't _have _a minute!"

"There! Found it!" Link brought the blue instrument to his lips, playing the Song of Time so fast it barely sounded like it. He hoped it would work anyway.

Link watched as the angry mob blurred and faded before his eyes, and suddenly found himself in front of the clock tower door. He let out a relieved sigh, leaning back on the door.

"That was close." Link waited until heartbeat slowed to its normal pace before he set out again. "Alright, let's go."

"Well," Said Tatl brightly. "Let's try not to kill any civilians this time, shall we?"

Tatl soon found herself in a bottle.

* * *

-tbc-

-The-Sharp-Machete-


	2. Loompah!

Only in Termia: Loompah!

**A/n –** _Majora's Mask is the first game Tingle appears in…*shudders*_

* * *

Link wasn't sure what exactly he was looking at at first. He thought maybe it was a deku scrub that'd gotten hold of the world's most giant flower or something of the sort. Hell, after the thief blew up he was staring to think anything in this strange parallel world was possible.

When the Hero of Time got closer, he saw that it was not a large red flower, but instead a balloon. And something green was attached to it. Curiosity climbing by the second, he knocked an arrow, the obnoxiously red balloon bursting with a loud _pop_.

Something small and very green landed with a loud grunt of pain.

"Hello…?" Link entreated, inching closer.

Then the being whirled to face him, and Link had to bite his cheek on the inside to keep from laughing.

A short stubby man in what appeared to be a green jumpsuit and pointed cap was staring up at him. He looked totally and utterly_ ridiculous_.

"Oh! Are you a fairy too?"

_Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't—_"You know, as a matter of fact, I am."

The pudgy man squealed with delight and hopped around in a way that Link could only interpret as a bastardization of a drunken jig.

"Would you like to buy a map of Woodfall from Tingle, Mr. Fairy? Since you're a fairy, I'll even give you a discount! How does ten rupees sound?"

"That sounds pretty good."

And they probably would've gone on that way all throughout Link's travels—the hero would shoot the man down from his balloon when he needed a map, and get a great discount due to Tingle's delusions. But then the older just had to do this:

"Tingle Tingle Loompah!" The man shouted, tossing a nauseating amount of green—what the hell was it? There was no way the man had any magic powers—somethings into the air. Link inhaled whatever it was, and abruptly doubled over, trying to force the stuff out of his lungs.

Conspiritually, Tingle leaned in close to the Hylian. "Those are Tingle's secret magic words. You can't tell anyone."

Link couldn't help it; he burst out into a laughing fit.

"What's so funny, Mr. Fairy?"

Against his better judgment and Tatl's warnings, Link answered truthfully between gasping breaths. "You—you're like what? Thir—thirty? And you're wearing the most—most _ridiculous_ outfit, and you think you're some kind of fairy."

Tingle looked miffed at that. "I'm thirty-_five, _thank you very much. And I _am_ a fairy! You're just jealous of my magic words."

But the green wearing man's defense only served to make Link laugh even harder.

Indignant, Tingle stalked away from the hero, calling over his shoulder: "You'll be sorry you said that someday! Just you wait!"

* * *

_Several hundred years later…_

* * *

"Oh! You're the fairy boy that freed me from that dreadful cell!"

The wind waker toting lad nodded in affirmation. "Everyone has pointed me to your direction, sir. They say you're the best there is at decoding maps." Link procured the map, which the impish man immediately snatched.

Eyes raking over it, Tingle made idle conversation. "So you're looking for the golden treasure, huh?"

"Yeah. I need it for my quest."

"Well, I can certainly decode this map for you—" Tingle's eyes glittered with greed. "—for five hundred and seventy rupees!"

"WHAT!"

* * *

-Tbc-

**A/n –** _Four words, Link: payback is a bitch._

-The-Sharp-Machete-


End file.
